All Alone

Well guys, today was another hectic day. the work is now taking its toll on me. anyways, lemme continue with my story.
in 2006, i met a gal named T@*^@. i dint actually like her in the first place but we started talking after she initiated. lemme describe her, the first time i saw her, she was wearing a red salwaar, pretty odd but what can i do, i happen to have a thing for gals in red.. jus like the colour red provokes a bull, it attracts me as well. anyways, we started talking and became good buddies in no time. infact she used to speak to me more than she spoke to her boyfriend. yes, she wasnt single, but i was. somthing told me that she had developed a liking for me and i had to kill that. so we stopped talking. infact i stopped talking to her, leavin her all alone. in the mean time, my best buddy, who badly wanted to get laid, started being nice to her thinking that he might get somthing. this went on for 6 months. in feb of 2007, it was my birthday n at sharp 12am, i got an sms from her wishing me a happy birthday.
i dunno why, for the first time, i felt that i shudnt have done wteva i did. so to rectify, i tried to speak to her. jus 14 days after my birthday, it was her's and i called her up at 11pm so that i cud be the first one to wish her. she was surprised as well as overwhelmed. things went smoothly for another 10 days and then the love bug bit me. sumthng happened and i realised that i was falling for her. i tried to stop it but in vain. i wanted to tell her but i couldnt. one fine day, i gathered myself and told her everything.
she was clueless cz now she had her friend falling for her and then her boyfriend who she was madly in love with. well the truth is, i dont actually know wether she did love that guy or was it just to fulfil her needs. i say this because she ........... never mind.... anyways, the gal whom i had fallen for this time around was one sweet gal who ws miles away from lies and cheating and i adrored her for that. and this time around, i didnt lie to her. 2 months passed and it was time for her to go to oman to meet her dad. it was then that i came to know bout the truth. she was one gal who had a habit of lying. she was addicted to it. and for the first time i realised how N#$" must have felt.
i tried to cut myself off from her but after coming back from oman, she contacted me again and i realised that no matter how far i go away, she'll always be in my heart. and she somehow knew this and she knew it well. infact she was so confident dt she started sayin that i wont ever be able to stop loving her. somewhere within me, i knew she was right. i was with her for two long years, fulfilled every dream which she had, gave her everything, loved her, worshipped her but she didnt. she didnt love me, she never stopped me but she didnt commit to me. i was stuck somewhere in the middle and my heart always felt heavy. i was hoping against hope that one fine day she'll be mine. for two long years i loved her unconditionally but she neva responded. towards the end, that is jan 2008, i came to know that it wasnt just me who got to hear such sweet words. those sweet mails and those mushy talks. and when i realised, o felt nothing but disgust.
i finally managed to lose contact with her, but she still remains in my heart. my heart still longs for her but my mind doesnt. in this battle between my heart and my brain, its only me whoz suffering and noone else.its been long since i've had some luck with love and it hurts me. everone wants somone who he or she can speak to for hours, someone whose eyes he or she can look into. someone whose hand one could hold and feel at peace. sadly, i dont have that someone, who knows i mite never get that someone.. only time will tell. thanks for bearing with me people.
signing off now. god bless..