Well guys, today was another hectic day. the work is now taking its toll on me. anyways, lemme continue with my story.
in 2006, i met a gal named T@*^@. i dint actually like her in the first place but we started talking after she initiated. lemme describe her, the first time i saw her, she was wearing a red salwaar, pretty odd but what can i do, i happen to have a thing for gals in red.. jus like the colour red provokes a bull, it attracts me as well. anyways, we started talking and became good buddies in no time. infact she used to speak to me more than she spoke to her boyfriend. yes, she wasnt single, but i was. somthing told me that she had developed a liking for me and i had to kill that. so we stopped talking. infact i stopped talking to her, leavin her all alone. in the mean time, my best buddy, who badly wanted to get laid, started being nice to her thinking that he might get somthing. this went on for 6 months. in feb of 2007, it was my birthday n at sharp 12am, i got an sms from her wishing me a happy birthday.
i dunno why, for the first time, i felt that i shudnt have done wteva i did. so to rectify, i tried to speak to her. jus 14 days after my birthday, it was her's and i called her up at 11pm so that i cud be the first one to wish her. she was surprised as well as overwhelmed. things went smoothly for another 10 days and then the love bug bit me. sumthng happened and i realised that i was falling for her. i tried to stop it but in vain. i wanted to tell her but i couldnt. one fine day, i gathered myself and told her everything.
she was clueless cz now she had her friend falling for her and then her boyfriend who she was madly in love with. well the truth is, i dont actually know wether she did love that guy or was it just to fulfil her needs. i say this because she ........... never mind.... anyways, the gal whom i had fallen for this time around was one sweet gal who ws miles away from lies and cheating and i adrored her for that. and this time around, i didnt lie to her. 2 months passed and it was time for her to go to oman to meet her dad. it was then that i came to know bout the truth. she was one gal who had a habit of lying. she was addicted to it. and for the first time i realised how N#$" must have felt.
i tried to cut myself off from her but after coming back from oman, she contacted me again and i realised that no matter how far i go away, she'll always be in my heart. and she somehow knew this and she knew it well. infact she was so confident dt she started sayin that i wont ever be able to stop loving her. somewhere within me, i knew she was right. i was with her for two long years, fulfilled every dream which she had, gave her everything, loved her, worshipped her but she didnt. she didnt love me, she never stopped me but she didnt commit to me. i was stuck somewhere in the middle and my heart always felt heavy. i was hoping against hope that one fine day she'll be mine. for two long years i loved her unconditionally but she neva responded. towards the end, that is jan 2008, i came to know that it wasnt just me who got to hear such sweet words. those sweet mails and those mushy talks. and when i realised, o felt nothing but disgust.
i finally managed to lose contact with her, but she still remains in my heart. my heart still longs for her but my mind doesnt. in this battle between my heart and my brain, its only me whoz suffering and noone else.its been long since i've had some luck with love and it hurts me. everone wants somone who he or she can speak to for hours, someone whose eyes he or she can look into. someone whose hand one could hold and feel at peace. sadly, i dont have that someone, who knows i mite never get that someone.. only time will tell. thanks for bearing with me people.
signing off now. god bless..
Friday, 29 August 2008
Thursday, 28 August 2008
My Life
Well guys, i am using this blog not to convey any message across to anybody or to receive comments. I am one guy who needs to talk to someone because i am left with no one around me and the ones i can talk to are miles away from me. i guess i'll be uploading something or the other because this is the only way i can speak out whats in me. if anyone gets to read this, please dont think i am a sadist or a loner.
To start with i was born in a small town in India. we are a family of four, that includes my mum, dad my younger sis and me of course. Right from childhood, i have prefered to do things my way(like every child does). one more thing before u read any further, i am bad at spellings as well, so kindly excuse me.. well, why am i writing this, i dont think anyonz gonna stop and read my autobiography.
anyways, my mum and dad believe that i am a child with extra brilliance, i knw that but somehow, i havent done anythng for the GOOD of mankind.. infact i havnt even managed to do anything for myself. rite from my childhood, i have chosen paths which are easy and obviously i have got into trouble zillions of times. so guys, if you are young, please dont follow the easy way coz it always leads to a hole and you bound to fall in it.
In school, i was never THE guy, but ya, i had my own place, guys and gals considered me to be a nice guy who'll help everyone and i did. but somehow i never was interested in studies. and i was bashed up zillions of times for this(by my folks-and it isnt illegal in india to bash your kids up, infact i believe they should now include it in the list of fundamental rights). even though i got that Dose from my dad, i respect them and love them and it in a way helped me in leading a normal life. when it came to girls, i had the prettiest of girls and was mostly surrounded by them but when it came to THE LOVE part, well, i was just a good friend. My first crush was when i was in 7th grade. her name was S#$@$% (cnt name her). and she was the most wanted gal in school, infact one of the most wantd gal. we knew each other pretty well, but i was nowhere even close to smart and i never had the guts to tell her either. and that was the end of my first love story. people, be careful, you are gonna come across loads f gals in this blog.
then came college, well, i dint study there even once which obviously resulted in a catastrophy but this time around i had loads of luck with gals. one of the girls i came across was N#$@. well, initially i was flirting around and she was serious. and obviously, i spoke millions and millions of lies, but one fine day i realised that i had fallen for this gal. the way we met was pretty interesting. we met up in a chat room and we used to chat regularly. i had given her my number but she being a gal was obviously very careful and one obviously should. chatting with each other from a habit became a necessity and finally an addiction. one fine day, she couldnt come online and she sms'd me from her number. and that is how i got her number. that message clearly said, "DO NOT CALL ON THIS NUMBER AS IT IS MY SISTER'S NUMBER". mind you guys, i was just 17 then. and like a good guy, i didnt sms or call her. 3 months passed and we dint speak to each other because of unavoidable circumstances.
after 3 long months, i happend to check my email which i had long forgotten and there i saw a mail from her that she misses me and wants to talk. riteaway, i sent her an sms that i had read her mail after 3 months. and she replied. we kept on smsing eachother for another 2 months and finally i made a move and called her up. and she sounded pretty intelligent and sweet.
ok now lets come back to the story. i realised that i had fallen for her. and then i started commiting to her. she used to stay half way across the country, i went there to meet her for 3 days. it was the first time we were meeting each other.. she was a very pretty gal and i was a hedious monster. but she was so much in love with me that she didnt see my ugliness. she was actually an angel sent on this planet by the almighty lord himself. during that trip itself,, she came to know about the lies which i had spoken to her, infact i admitted everything as i dint want our relationship to be based on lies. but it didnt work the way it works in movies. she ws shattered, she cried in fornt of me and i didnt have the guts to wipe off her tears. i felt miserable and rite this moment i feel no different.
that was the end of my life with her. she was one girl who saw perfection in an imperfect world. i respected her and lover her a lot and this is not a lie. then came my first job. i met another girl there named H@%#@. we were good friends and we loved to hang out with each other. infact we moved in together in an apartment so that we could spend more time with each other. and the friendship was reaching new heights day after day after day. at one point we reached a stage when jus by looking at each other, we came to know what the other person is gonna say. we thought like each other, both of us loved similar movies, music, foods. everything was so god damm perfect until the love bug struck me. infact this poison was entered into my veins by one of her gal friends, who told me that you guys are made for each other and blah blah. and like a stupid jerk i fell in that trap. i proposed to her and she obviously rejected.
then she told me one of her deepest secrets that she was a divorcee. but by that time i had love so much pumped into me that it didnt matter to me at all.. at this time i was 21. things became worse. but one fine day she broke down and we were officially a couple. we went around for 6 months and then it haappened. i mean the break up. i dunno why but she was never happy with me. she had found a lover but she lost a friend whom she needed more and that was eventually the reason for my downfall.
well i guess its too much for one day.. my journey will continue tomorrow. incase anyone wastes his/her time reading this then do say hi. would be nice to know that someones listening to me.
take care. god bless.
To start with i was born in a small town in India. we are a family of four, that includes my mum, dad my younger sis and me of course. Right from childhood, i have prefered to do things my way(like every child does). one more thing before u read any further, i am bad at spellings as well, so kindly excuse me.. well, why am i writing this, i dont think anyonz gonna stop and read my autobiography.
anyways, my mum and dad believe that i am a child with extra brilliance, i knw that but somehow, i havent done anythng for the GOOD of mankind.. infact i havnt even managed to do anything for myself. rite from my childhood, i have chosen paths which are easy and obviously i have got into trouble zillions of times. so guys, if you are young, please dont follow the easy way coz it always leads to a hole and you bound to fall in it.
In school, i was never THE guy, but ya, i had my own place, guys and gals considered me to be a nice guy who'll help everyone and i did. but somehow i never was interested in studies. and i was bashed up zillions of times for this(by my folks-and it isnt illegal in india to bash your kids up, infact i believe they should now include it in the list of fundamental rights). even though i got that Dose from my dad, i respect them and love them and it in a way helped me in leading a normal life. when it came to girls, i had the prettiest of girls and was mostly surrounded by them but when it came to THE LOVE part, well, i was just a good friend. My first crush was when i was in 7th grade. her name was S#$@$% (cnt name her). and she was the most wanted gal in school, infact one of the most wantd gal. we knew each other pretty well, but i was nowhere even close to smart and i never had the guts to tell her either. and that was the end of my first love story. people, be careful, you are gonna come across loads f gals in this blog.
then came college, well, i dint study there even once which obviously resulted in a catastrophy but this time around i had loads of luck with gals. one of the girls i came across was N#$@. well, initially i was flirting around and she was serious. and obviously, i spoke millions and millions of lies, but one fine day i realised that i had fallen for this gal. the way we met was pretty interesting. we met up in a chat room and we used to chat regularly. i had given her my number but she being a gal was obviously very careful and one obviously should. chatting with each other from a habit became a necessity and finally an addiction. one fine day, she couldnt come online and she sms'd me from her number. and that is how i got her number. that message clearly said, "DO NOT CALL ON THIS NUMBER AS IT IS MY SISTER'S NUMBER". mind you guys, i was just 17 then. and like a good guy, i didnt sms or call her. 3 months passed and we dint speak to each other because of unavoidable circumstances.
after 3 long months, i happend to check my email which i had long forgotten and there i saw a mail from her that she misses me and wants to talk. riteaway, i sent her an sms that i had read her mail after 3 months. and she replied. we kept on smsing eachother for another 2 months and finally i made a move and called her up. and she sounded pretty intelligent and sweet.
ok now lets come back to the story. i realised that i had fallen for her. and then i started commiting to her. she used to stay half way across the country, i went there to meet her for 3 days. it was the first time we were meeting each other.. she was a very pretty gal and i was a hedious monster. but she was so much in love with me that she didnt see my ugliness. she was actually an angel sent on this planet by the almighty lord himself. during that trip itself,, she came to know about the lies which i had spoken to her, infact i admitted everything as i dint want our relationship to be based on lies. but it didnt work the way it works in movies. she ws shattered, she cried in fornt of me and i didnt have the guts to wipe off her tears. i felt miserable and rite this moment i feel no different.
that was the end of my life with her. she was one girl who saw perfection in an imperfect world. i respected her and lover her a lot and this is not a lie. then came my first job. i met another girl there named H@%#@. we were good friends and we loved to hang out with each other. infact we moved in together in an apartment so that we could spend more time with each other. and the friendship was reaching new heights day after day after day. at one point we reached a stage when jus by looking at each other, we came to know what the other person is gonna say. we thought like each other, both of us loved similar movies, music, foods. everything was so god damm perfect until the love bug struck me. infact this poison was entered into my veins by one of her gal friends, who told me that you guys are made for each other and blah blah. and like a stupid jerk i fell in that trap. i proposed to her and she obviously rejected.
then she told me one of her deepest secrets that she was a divorcee. but by that time i had love so much pumped into me that it didnt matter to me at all.. at this time i was 21. things became worse. but one fine day she broke down and we were officially a couple. we went around for 6 months and then it haappened. i mean the break up. i dunno why but she was never happy with me. she had found a lover but she lost a friend whom she needed more and that was eventually the reason for my downfall.
well i guess its too much for one day.. my journey will continue tomorrow. incase anyone wastes his/her time reading this then do say hi. would be nice to know that someones listening to me.
take care. god bless.
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